On Friendship

Mum, this one is for you.

"while friendship has been by far the chief source of my happiness, acquaintance or general society has always meant little to me, and I cannot quite understand why a man should wish to know more people than he can make real friends of."

C. S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy

My humble theories on God and free will

First of all, I would like to say that what I am going to write here are nothing but my humble theories about this subject. This is not based on any readings or other people's ideas. It is just stuff that comes to my mind. As a consequence it is all very simple and probably a bit naif.
I believe that God has a plan for His children's lives. I also believe that He does not have a detailed plan all organized and that He is not totally responsible for the completion of that plan.
I am going to try to explain this with two important decisions in a person's life: the choice of a career and marriage. Imagine that God's plans for some man are that he becomes a scientist and marries a good, wise, honest girl that is going to love him for the rest of his days (lucky guy!).
This man may be wise and understand God's cues and do what God planned for him the easiest way.
Or, he may be a fool. He may, for example, prefer a job that pays him a lot of money to a job as a scientist, even though he feels that being a scientist is what really gives him joy and fulfilment. If that is the case, I believe he will face barriers somewhere along his way. He may never get the well-paid job he wants and end up coming back to science (in which case he was lucky) or he may get a job that makes him rich and miserable, because he is not really doing what he loves.
More or less the same applies to the marriage. I do not believe that God wants us to marry a specific person, especially because marriage is an act that involves two wills. But imagine that this same scientist man that was supposed to marry a nice, wise, sensible woman only falls in love with crazy, selfish women and does not even see the nice, wise, sensible girls that God puts in front of him. Then he is in trouble. Either God let's him marry some crazy woman and allows him to be miserable for the rest of his days, or He will pitty the poor guy and somehow create obstacles to his unwise relationships. Or a mix of both, until he learns what he is supposed to do with his life.
So basically I believe that God has a general plan for our lives that would be like a long sunny road, with no holes and with trees, flowers and fountains all along it. But I also believe that we may get away from that road, enter the desert, get lost and never find our way back again.

On Volupty

Dear R., this one is dedicated to you again. I guess I have been in a bit of a teenage mood, recently...

"- Sabes o que é a volúpia?
- Com esse nome deve ser proibido."

(- Do you know what volupty is?
- With that name it must be forbidden.")

Clara Pinto Correia, Ponto Pé de Flor

On Friendship

R., this one is dedicated to you, directly from our teenage years.

"- Não achas estimulante, como ideia, seres apenas muito amiga de um homem?

- Para quê? - perguntou ela."

("- Don't you think it can stimulating, just as an idea, to be only really good friends with a man?

- What for? - she asked.")

Clara Pinto Correia, Ponto Pé de Flor

Wonderwoman's locker room

This came to my mind recently and has been bothering me since then.

Since now there are no telephone booths, where does Wonderwoman transforms?

Vampires and werewolves

By the end of the last book of Stephenie Meyer's vampire saga, I guess I will have to confess that I got kind of addicted to it. Even though I thought the first book was not that good at all and even a bit boring, it gets better, and the reader really start to gets curious about what is going to happen next.
My favourite book was definitely Eclipse, in which Bella (the human main character) had to choose between an astonishing beautiful, cultured, mature and wise vampire and an attractive, teenage, hot tempered and kind of crazy werewolf. Her indecision was interesting to follow. Bella was a wise young girl and she picked the vampire. I know I wouldn't have resisted the werewolf, and I do not want to know what that makes me...

Besides Bella's excessive wisdom, it is easy to see why the series has been such a succes. The books are engaging, filled with adventures and portrait in a symbolic but obvious and almost naif way the challenges of teenage sexuality.

Having said this, I must confess I did not actually read the books. I heard the audiobooks and would not take the time to read them, but they were still entertaining enough to make go over the whole series in a month.

Great things about America IV

When you buy your contacts and you pay $40.00 less than last time. Here they call this economic recession. Too bad it hasn't arrived to my home country yet.

Too much...

I cry a lot. That's a fact of life. I also laugh and smile a lot. I love a lot and I try not to hate a lot. I suffer a lot and a lot of joy fills my heart. I work a lot and after I feel so tired I could die. I am mostly a person of extremes. A lot of them.

For a long time I thought I would be better off being a more balanced person. I worked really hard on that. Recently, however, I realized that all the things that I regret doing in my life are not because I did them a lot, but because I didn't do them enough. I regret not having showed my love enough, my discontentment enough, I regret not having said all I thought, I regret not have complained enough, I regret not having tried enough, I regret not having yelled enough and I almost regret not having cried enough...

Moderate people can live moderately. Extreme people have to live extremely. Being wise and sensible is being authentic and this takes different forms for different people. People like me, that live everything intensely cannot pretend to be cool. I am not cool. I am a sea of lava waiting to explode.

From now on I am going to be everyhting a lot more.

Beware.

Really strange things about America II

Friday there was a Health Fair in my school.

In one of the booths some candy was being given. The wrapping said "Sex in MINT for marriage".

Despite our own opinions about the matter, what are the odds of this happening in an European country???

Obama is my uncle...

Before I tell this story, I have to say that in my family everyone is kind of dark. For American standards I am olive skinned and I am one of the fairest in the family. I think we must have Arab blood somewhere in our ancestors.

So this week one of my Arab-looking uncles gave a long interview in a well-known Portuguese newspaper with a bunch of pictures in it (Congratulations, uncle!!!). Arriving at his mom's (my grandma's) house, he showed her the pictures and asked her: "So, do you know who this is?"

" Hummmm" grandma hesitated "it's the US President."

Redeeming Love

Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers is the last book I read.

I understand that this book can easily be accused of being excessively optimistic, romantic or idealist, but it is still a wonderful book.

It is a book about God and about love and on how both can change lives.

If you feel tempted to read it, try not to get disencouraged by the excessive romanticism of the first part, though. It is a book that I would strongly recommend to anyone who has enough of an open mind to question his/her own beliefs.

Awesome.

Heat Wave or How a Portuguese becomes American II

Today, to my astonishment, I felt so warm I had to take my gloves out.

In fact, the temperature was 0ºC. I am becoming an eskimo...

Women in Love

"Perhaps it is better to die than live mechanically. A life that's repetition of repetition."

Women in Love

This is an amazing movie, full of wonderfully visual symbolic scenes.

The four main characters are two couples (Ursula and Rupert; Gundrun and Gerald) striving to find a meaning to their lives and fighting for power in their relationships. The overall view of love is of something that can ideally bring life but that more often brings death.

To me, it was particularly interesting to watch how sex is portraited as a symbol of death. The three explicit sex scenes we watch in the movie are clearly connected to death. In the first one, the sex scene is suddenly discontinued to show us a young couple that drowned in a lake. The woman seems to hold her lover against his will. In a beautiful and surprising scene change, the drowned couple is replaced in the screen by the couple that was having sex. The man frees himself and the woman starts crying. Later, in the funeral of the drowned couple, Gerald says "She killed him".

Next is the first sex scene between Gerald and Gundrun. Gerald shows up in Gundrun's bedroom and touches her with hands full of mud from his father's fresh grave.

The third scene is extremely violent as at first Gerald seems to be trying to kill Gundrun. Suddenly we realize that he is only having sex with her. This scene foresees Gerald's wish to kill Gundrun and his final death.

Sex is frequently a symbol of maturity, and therefore death, but I had never seen it so clearly shown on a movie.

Really crazy things about America

The other day a bunch of students came into my room telling me very seriously that the world was going to end in 2012. According to them, this was written in some old Maya wall together with a bunch of other predictions that had all become true.

I didn't really pay much attention and I figured it had been some isolated phenomenum of craziness, relatively common among my students.

To my surprise, I went to a local bookstore today and I bumped into a corner dedicated to the end of the world in 2012. There were at least 9 books there, all by different authors, informing whoever cares to know of what the prophecies are, when they are going to happen, what the end of the world is going to be like and even what is going to happen after.

Just in case you are curious, the world is going to end December 21, 2012.

I think it is quite convenient that we are informed with so much time of such an important date.

I wonder if I will get away with proscrastinating grading tests for the next 4 years...

How a Portuguese becomes American

Today I had lunch at 11:30. I know it's terrible and totally against my principles, but I was too hungry.
At school I have a lunch break from 10:30 to 11. Last year I resisted heroically. I would just eat a cereal bar and then have lunch at 2, when classes finished. This year I surrendered to the tyranny of American lunch hours. Every day I happily have lunch at 10:30.
Today I was at home but I couldn't resist, I had lunch at the time I would usually eat breakfast in Portugal...

Great things about America III

From my back window...

Snow days.

Here, when it snows a lot and at the right time we don't go to school. Today we had a snow day. Wednesday is actually my favourite day for that. It feels like a short weekend in the middle of the week.

This is one of the reasons why I love America!

Really strange things about America I

Arriving at someone's house to have dinner at 4 p.m.
Having dinner at 5 p.m.

Not so great things about America I

When I take a shower in the morning, the water that stayed in my bath tub is frozen, and there is a layer of ice under my hair conditioner.

Park Street Church

"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."

Revelation 3:20

First, I would like to tell everyone that this post will probably come as kind of a surprise to most of you that are not updated with my newest religious beliefs. Well, I opened the door. I believe in Christ and go to church.

Park Street Church is my church and I love it. It had been now three weeks since snow had kept me from going there and I realized today how much I had missed it.

I love it and I don't even know why. I don't really know anyone there. It's not a monumental breath-taking church, like the ones in Europe. I just like it. I feel good there. My heart is filled with joy.

I have always liked going to churches. Just being in there. But Park Street will always be the place where I started getting bugged by all this Christ thing. In the beginning I would go there and cry from the beginning to the end of the service. Those times seem like a long time ago.

Now I just feel a strange happiness. I feel at home.

Luther

"Luther" was the movie I started my weekend with. Bad movie and, according to a couple of reviews I found on the net, full of historical errors. The good part is that since I had almost no previous knowledge of Luther and the Reformation history, I was still able to learn something.

Better than that, it definitely made me want to read Luther's work.

Oh, and by the way, do you remember that romantic story we learned at school about Luther nailing the 95 thesis on the door of the cathedral of Wittenberg. It never happened. Luther just sent them to some archbishop...

What I hate about being told these romantic lies, is that I get really disappointed when I find out the truth.

Great things about America II

When a poor insignificant teacher emails the Superintendent (one of the most important persons in the school systems), he answers in 2 hours.

Great things about America I

Here there is hot water to wash your hands in every public bathroom. Yes, even in Public Schools.

Men...

"Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man's nature."
G. R. R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

New Year's Eve in my family

But when New Year's Eve comes, we go crazy...
Oh, and if you are wondering, this last picture is here out of pure vanity, but I usually look so bad in pictures that I guess I deserve this one. I bet my uncle Pedro took it. He's the only one that takes nice pictures of me.

Christmas in my family

On Christmas, we look like a normal family.

White and plain

After watching "Blue", the first movie of Kieslowski's trilogy, "White" is kind of disappointing.

The sign language scene at the end is cute, but for the most part, it's just a nice movie.

Or maybe I didn't get it.

On Liberty

Yesterday I watched the movie "Trois couleurs: Bleu". A lot has been said about this movie and its director and on how amazingly he uses images instead of words to convey meanings. It is true that there are some quite amazing images in the movie, but since I have absolutely no theoretical knowledge about movie making, I am not even going to approach that topic.
Two things impressed me in this movie, though.

First, the beautiful music.

Second, the concept of liberty. Kieslowski created this movie trilogy based on the three colors of the French flag. The blue on the flag symbolizes liberty and that is what this movie is about. Un unexpected kind of liberty, though. The one we have to loose to become human.

Julie (Juliette Binoche), the main character of the movie, looses her husband and daughter in a car accident and suddenly finds herself potentially free from the world. She has no immediate family now and the only other relative is a senile mother who does not remember her. She then goes through a process of separation from the world: sells her house, leaving the servants that had a emotional connection with her, and has sex with a man that loved her, in order to show him that she is just a woman like any other and free him from her. She destroys her husband's final composition that was apparently also writen by her and rents an appartment away from everyone she knows. Getting rid of all emotional connections, she attains ultimate freedom .

During the rest of the movie, we see how this process is undone. A female neighbor is the first one to break the spell by showing gratitude, compassion and need. But the disappointment with her husband both professionally (Julie finds out that he "stole" some of his melodies from a street musician) and emotionally (she finds out he had been seeing another woman for years) is what I think brings Julie back to life. Maybe it makes her understand that there was more than happiness in the past and more than grief in the present. Julie reconnects with the world, rebuilds community, suffers, looses freedom and becomes human again.

A swimming-pool of dumness

Here are some creative ways my students used to write "piscina" (swimming pool):
- pascina
- pínasia
- pasina
- pisciano
- piscau
- pinsico
- pisana
and finally, last but not least
- o penik

Again, if you are not Portuguese and have no clue what is going on here, sorry!

Winter in Paradise

I hate to admit this, but snow can actually be beautiful. Cold, on the other side, can´t. It's uncomfortable, painful and puts people in a bad mood.



I believe that in Paradise there are going to be big snow storms, but the temperature outside is going to be 25ºC, no wind, and we will be able to lay our beach towels on the snow and sunbathe.

Trompicar

Oh, this is so cute...

A student of mine says "trompicar" instead of "tropeçar"...

(If you don't understand Portuguese and this makes no sense for you, I am sorry.)

Portenglish

It's the end of the semester, I have to put in grades and prepare my second semester courses by Wednesday and I really don't have time for this. But I can't resist sharing with you part of a written assignement from a student. His family is from São Miguel even though he was born in the US. The student wrote about a memory from his childhood.

I must warn you that the contents of this post may be shocking for people with linguistic sensitivity.

"Uma memoria minha e da e campar com a minha familia para o cape. Quando nos iram nos trasemos baracas bicicletas quenes. E min e o meu pai ia pesicar para pinhar pecios. Nos eram para a prai o dia todo. A noite nos timos oma fogerra e nos assavem marshmellow e cominhams. Nos tame fazeam passim para camar na fogera. Eu gostava muito de ita la. A ves a noito nos iram da passaes no canale. Eu gostave muito porcaso eu gostave de ta la cam a minha familia. Nos tambem tresia o meu cão. Ela gostava de ir porcaso ela gostava de ir para a prai."

What did I do to deserve this???

Correction

Temperature outside: -3ºC. Feels -7ºC. Students enter school in shorts and t-shirt. Teachers wear summer shoes without socks, tights or nylons.
January, 13. On the email, a colleague sends me a postcard wishing me Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. The postcard is signed by someone I don't know.
Did I say that nothing else surprised me in America?

On Love

I just watched "Crouching Tigger, Hidden Dragon". First of all, I have to say that I didn't know a martial arts movie could be so beautiful. But I guess this is much more than a martial arts movie.
Now, if you have a complicated man/woman in your life, you should really watch this. Besides giving you some insight into your complicated lovers' minds, it will probably make your real life character seem quite simple, in comparison. Even though some real life characters exceed in complexity any fiction ones, let's face it...

So we have two couples in this movie, an older and a younger one. The older couple has a complicated man and the young couple has a complicated woman. Or maybe not. I'll get to that one later.
The older couple has been in love for a long time, but none of them has ever assumed it. The woman seems more eager to do it, but, right in the first part of the movie, Li Mu Bai, the man, tells Shu Lien, the woman:

"Shu Lein, there is no eternity to the things we can touch. My master used to say there is nothing we can hold onto in this world. Only by letting go can we finally possess what is real."

So, at this point, I started sensing that this woman was getting herself into real trouble with this man. And I was right. Even though he does not seem so happy about this kind of teaching and says he wants to be with her, you don't see it really happening until the end, when he is about to die. Sorry, too late. Oh, and if you were planning to watch the movie, sorry if I just ruined it by telling the end.
So, as I was saying, it takes Li Mu Bai the rest of the movie to start living his love with Shu Lien. Only at the end, when he is dying, he will tell her:

"I have already wasted my whole life. I wanted to tell you with my last breath... I have always loved you."

I am not sure if "better late than never" applies to this case. Li Mu Bai, you are kind of a pain in the butt.

So after this love story ended really badly, and my romantic optimistic side was really sad, I was still hoping for the younger couple. It all seemed to go well until the end. Then, remembering a story that her lover told her about a young man that jumped from a mountain and not only didn't get hurt but also saw his wish come true, Jen, the woman, asks Lo, her lover, what is his greatest wish, jumps from a mountain, and the film ends. I didn't really get this one, but since I am an optimistic, Jen could kind of fly and Lo's wish was to be with her forever, I will just hope she didn't die. I will be very disappointed if she did.

I am finally here

After a year and a half thinking about creating a blog to share the cultural shock of a European in America, here I am. Of course that by now I am so used to this country that there is no more cultural shock. No matter how weird and freakish things get, I just accept everything calmly and perfectly indifferent.
I will give you a couple of examples. Today my world woke up white. Like a big bowl of strawberries and cream but without the strawberries, if you want to be positive, or like an immense hospital, if you not in such a good mood. I was supposed to go to Boston. Couldn't. Did I complain? No, not really. A year ago I would have been annoyed, complained and asked myself and who wanted to hear me what I was doing in this country. Not anymore.
Also the fact that in the supermarket you have to pick one in fifty different brands if you need a box of cereal (I still remember how thrilled we were in Portugal when Chocapic and Estrelitas appeared...), that milk is sold in 4-litre bottles, shampoo in 1-litre bottles, q-tips in 1000-unit packets and toothpaste in 400-something-gram tubes doesn't surprise me a tiny bit anylonger.
I guess the Superintendent singing would still come as a bit of a shock, but our school's Maria Callas left, and the one we have now is no source of surprises.

So this sounds promising: this blog is supposed to be about the cultural shock of an European living in America, but the author has gone numb due to excess of surprises and doesn't get surprised at anything any longer. Hum... Well, let's just hope I still have some other things to share with friends and family, and that this may be a good way to keep in touch.